New Zealand!

Posted on Wednesday, October 20, 2010

We just arrived back from our first trip out of the country as support act for New Zealand(and one Cougar Jones)’s “It Girl” Gin Wigmore. Quite a big difference to go from supporting Grinspoon in regional Australia, to theatre and opera house dates in Aotearoa. For one thing, in New Zealand, southern cross tattoos don’t immediate signify you as a horrendous bogan, the pre-european culture is treated with more than token respect, and the beer is fucking atrocious.

Gin gets presents delivered to her before almost every gig from adoring fans. Hamilton was a particularly interesting haul consisting of wine, flowers, a 6 CD set of New Zealand’s Top 100 Songs (nearly all Split Enz, Crowded House, Bic Runga and Dave Dobbyn – no joke – see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature%27s_Best) and some keychain led flashlights. Generally though, whatever isn’t crack cocaine or nudie photos gets thrown out, or given to whatever shmuck happens to be passing by.

I spend a couple of fruitless days trying to track down GAB, or General Alcoholic Beverage, which my friend Kris informed me was some sort of terrible no-name spirit sold for cheap to homeless people.

We run into some trouble on the drive from Hamilton to Palmerston North when we get lost and a blizzard hits, making it too dark to see the map. Luckily, I have my new flashlight key-ring (a late birthday present from Cougar) and before long we arrive in Palmerston North, the Jewel of the North Island. Gin cancels the next couple of shows on the tour for the hell of it (“me fans are a bunch of cunts anyway”) and we spend a great week or so getting high on salvia and shooting BB guns at sheep.

Here are some pictures!

Our first time touring away from the glorious Australian blokey-ness of the Hume & Pacific Highways. Would we miss the Big characters and Big adventures of this country? Fuck Yeah!

Is there irony in a Christchurch Museum display about earthquakes, getting damaged by an earthquake? I don’t know, I was too busy being appalled by their horribly out of date technology.

Drugs are not only legal in New Zealand, they’re also packaged in children-friendly garish colours!

Guns are also readily available and Kiwis have no qualms about handing them out to those on the Beardy, Lebanese, or Sri Lankian end of the spectrum, as Ru, Ritchie & myself found out here. How quaint!

Says it all really.

Shit. Fucking. Yeah. Booze is super-cheap in New Zealand owing to I presume low import taxes, good exchange rates and an ingrained national drinking problem, judging from the 24 hour supermarket/bottle-o on every corner.

ps. Here’s a picture I drew of myself as a bad-ass robot

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